“Ahem!” the noise from The Jeanie’s imaginary audience quiets to silence.
“I stand here before you to…oops, wrong speech…one moment please” the imaginary audience waits patiently as The Jeanie swipes her hand across the virtual screen on her super computer (think Minority Report) before finding the correct speech.
“Hello my minions” pause for adulation, continue. “I am here on the Jeanie and Jayha blog to speak some small truths” pause for awed exclamations, continue.
“I have many issues I would like to cover, but today it will be, but one” Look at imaginary audience, which is made up of HOT ASS men whom are all half naked.
“What I will talk about today is this: Why The Jeanie is annoyed at the fact there are too many movies adapted to film that suck so much they are creating a filmic black hole in the universe.” Pause for a round of ‘Yeahs!’ to subside.
“As both an Author and a Scriptwriter, I find it offensive when I have read the book and get excited at its excellence, only to have my good times dashed when the movie sucks all kinds of ass!” wait as imaginary audience of hot ass half naked men all make sounds of agreement.
“I mean…come on people! You get paid wayyyyyyyy to fucking much and more often than not you have the author of the book/story readily available and somehow you still manage to make a suck ass film, which would serve us better if you buried it so far up your pompous greedy ass, that you’d be shitting celluloid for the next fifty years!” ‘Here here!’ is heard through-out the audience listening so intently.
“Now I have a solution…” pause for effect, every imaginary audience member leans forward in their seats, anticipation written all over their handsome faces. “Allow The Jeanie, Fearless Leader and their fellow Beautiful Trouble counterparts to take over the world therefore better films will be adapted from books/stories.”
Cue: THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE and FISTS IN THE AIR!
“The Jeanie has spoken”